This week, I had a wonderful experience with prayer where I broke a barrier in a relationship with Jesus Christ. As a person I cannot envision a face without having had a personal experience with that person. Even my own mother is hard to visualize without thinking of her about to hug me with a big smile on her face. The same was with the Savior, and I realized I had not directly had a relationship with Him, and couldn't envision it. But I know it's been possible, and I truly sought after it. I pondered and meditated in the dark for a long time, but still didn't feel any closer. I finally reached a point where I said I would do anything to feel and know the Savior. And immediately my own thought came that I would have to talk to everybody, something I know that I have a hard time doing. Even with this thought, I said I would face all these trials so that I might get to know Him. And a beautiful thought came that I would learn the Savior's footsteps and feel for Him in a small way as I go through these trials; that my pain and sickness at this time is also what He has experienced. And in that I felt a small, but strong connection.
I know that it is no coincidence that after all this, I got sick and had a lot of physical problems, but those even led to valuable lessons. We felt prompted by my sickness as a companionship to watch over all the things we could physically, and the spiritual lessons would follow. Cleaned the house and good sleep; healthy diets and exercise have brightened our days. The Savior seeks to care for all our needs, and I am grateful to be needed by the Savior, who needs me and has called me to be an Elder. I love you and thank you for the counsel you've given me, and I will write again soon:)